Here’s what you need to do if you want to win back an ex after a long breakup…
1. Before you even try to get in touch with her, you should do what you can to increase your chances of success
The key to winning back an ex after years apart is to make sure that when you get in touch with her, you can finally give her the satisfying romantic experience she craved from you.
In other words, you’ve grown tremendously as a person, both psychologically and emotionally.
She won’t want to get back with you if you keep making the same old attraction mistakes (giving her too much power, feeling unworthy of her, not laughing at her when she is being mean or bitchy, etc.) that got you into trouble in the first place.
You need to be able to convince her, over the phone or in person, that you’ve evolved into a better man (one who is, for example, more assured of himself, charismatic, charming, interesting, etc.).
Unless you’ve made some significant changes, she’s not going to be interested if she thinks you’ll continue to make the same mistakes you always have.
A thought like, “Does he seriously think that I’m going to give up my great life to get back into a relationship with him, when nothing about him has really changed?” may cross her mind. In all honesty, he hasn’t progressed since I ended our relationship many moons ago. Now that I’ve gotten over the heartbreak of our split, he wants me to go back to being with a guy who still doesn’t have what I want. What? He probably thinks I’m completely off my rocker. ”
When he expresses interest in her, she’ll respond with something like, “That’s so sweet of you, but I’m seeing someone else now.” “Thanks, but I’m already engaged to another guy” or “I’m sorry, I wish you the best of luck in your search for love” are both acceptable responses.
If you want to win back your ex after a long time has passed, you’ll need to convince her that you’re not the same person she broke up with.
If a guy’s ex-girlfriend broke up with him, his insecurity about the relationship could have played a role.
After a long separation, if he calls her up to win her back, she will logically want to see if he’s changed (e.g. by pretending not to remember him, being cold and unfriendly towards him, telling him how great her life has been since they broke up, talking about a guy she is seeing).
She will see that he hasn’t changed and she won’t want to get back together if he can’t handle her confidence tests without getting upset, losing his nerve, or stifling his sense of humor in an effort to be on his best behavior.
If, on the other hand, he keeps his composure under pressure and uses humor to win her over and lighten the mood, she may let down her guard.
During the call, she will keep probing him to see if he has matured into more of a man or if he is still the same.
Perhaps if she senses that he has grown up, she will be more receptive to meeting the new and improved him in person.
Another time this occurred was when a lady ended her relationship with a man because she felt he was drifting aimlessly.
He had no clear direction in life and floated from one dead-end job to the next.
If he gets in touch with her and she learns that he hasn’t changed much, she’ll be even less interested in him.
A typical thought that will cross her mind is, “I can’t believe that after all this time, he hasn’t made something of himself. He is unmotivated and content with nothing more than mediocrity. I don’t want to re-enter a relationship with him because doing so would drag me into a life with no guarantees. I’m looking for a man who can provide for the two of us and whom I can admire and respect. To put it bluntly, I’m not interested in a guy who expects me to be the one to give his life meaning and provide emotional support. I seek a man who is actively pursuing his many important interests and passions.
When he tries to win her back, she’ll tell him to forget about the past and ask him to move on.
That being said, if you’re dead set on winning back your ex after a long separation, you need to work on making yourself a more appealing man to her.
Once she sees for herself that you have changed, she will be more receptive to the idea of reconciling with you.
2. Show her that you’ve been having a good time without her by visiting your social media accounts
Maintaining a positive outlook on life and reveling in your success without her is a surefire way to get her back in your arms.
Then, be sure to give her the opportunity to verify this via her preferred social media platform.
If she is not a Facebook friend of yours, you can still show her your photos by making them visible to the public rather than just your friends list.
Trust me, it’s common practice for women to visit the profiles of their exes on various social media platforms.
It’s crucial that you convey the appropriate image to her in case she wants to look at a photo of you to cheer up on a dull day or remember fond memories of you.
One way to do this is to share photos of yourself online…
- Having a good time with a group of ladies.
- I hope you’re having a great time in all those far-flung locales you’ve visited since breaking up with her.
- Having a major success (e.g. getting your black belt in a martial art, winning a prize, taking your first solo skydive).
She’ll be more receptive to meeting up with you once she sees that you don’t need her in your life, and that you’re thriving without her presence.
Females despise reuniting with exes who are insecure and need them back for their own self-esteem.
Conversely, if a woman knows or suspects that her ex is content, loved, and having a good time without her, she may be more receptive to reuniting with him.
At heart, she just wants reassurance that, while he may desire her return, he is perfectly content without her.
3. Get in touch with her online and greet her as an old friend.
Put up the amusing pictures first.
Please don’t get in touch with her if all you have to offer is a collection of photos of lonely things (e.g., you, or landscapes and buildings you’ve seen while traveling alone).
To get in touch with her, all you need are some humorous snapshots.
Say something like, “Hey ex girlfriend Long time no speak. As a friend, I wanted to reach out and say hello. So far, my life has been wonderful. In what kind of shape are you in at the moment? ”
She might be surprised to hear from you after such a long time has passed if she hasn’t seen or heard from you. To find out what you’ve been up to since breaking up with her, she may say, “I wonder what he wants with me after all this time,” and then check out your social media profiles.
She’ll feel more at ease responding once she realizes you haven’t been moping around in her absence but have instead been living your life.
Then, when she replies, ask for her number (just in case she’s changed it or you lost it) so you can give her a quick call and catch up.
You can respond to her message with, “Hey, I might give you a call to say hi sometime,” if you already have her number. I’m confident that we’ll be able to catch up and joke around like old pals.
Just as I suggested above, if you don’t already have her phone number, you should ask her for it. Quick, what’s your phone number?” I’ll call you sometime soon to say hello. In a purely friendly capacity, of course.
I’m not sure if I like this idea very much,” or “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” could be some of her initial reactions.
Just because you want to talk to them or miss them doesn’t mean you should lose your cool and start begging them. I need to hear your voice again” because she won’t appreciate your neediness.
Say something to her like, “Hey, it’s just a quick call between old friends to say hi. ” This will show her that the weak, insecure man she knew is no longer you. Let me get this straight: we can accomplish this, right? Not a big deal, really. Maybe even if it’s just for a minute or two, it would be cool to say “hi.”
You can then expect the woman to give you her phone number.
Then, once you have her number, feel free to give her a call the same day or the following day.
Keep in mind that the primary goal of calling your ex is to reawaken her respect and attraction for the new you, which will hopefully lead to her agreeing to a face-to-face meeting.
A common mistake that many men make is to keep in touch with an ex via text or social media for too long before calling her or meeting her in person.
And guys try to text their way into a date, which they almost never get.
You need some nerve to make that call and ask.
When you try to hide behind text messages with an ex, she will eventually get bored or turn you off (e.g. talking about the relationship, asking her too many questions).
Unfortunately, many men are reluctant to call their ex-girlfriend after a long period of time has passed since they broke up.
One male’s rationale might go like this: “It’s just been so long since we’ve seen each other. Is it possible that she could answer the phone, hear my voice, and then decide she no longer wants to speak to or see me? At least now I’m getting messages from her. Texts are preferable to nothing at all. Perhaps we could start off by exchanging friendly texts and then, when she’s ready, she could ask to talk to me on the phone.
But that hardly ever occurs.
Usually, a woman will stop responding to her long-ago ex once she becomes annoyed or bored by his constant messages.
And in still other cases, she’ll keep texting him but keep going about her life without him (e.g. having sex, dating and falling in love with other guys).
If you’re trying to win back an ex after years apart, don’t waste time corresponding via text or instant message.
You should call her as soon as possible to reignite her admiration and desire for you, and then set up a time to finally meet in person.
And that’s why it’s effective.
Well, I finally managed to get in touch with her via some online means, and after doing so…
4. Engage her in a conversation and use the opportunity to make her laugh, smile, and feel good.
You shouldn’t squander the chance to hurt your ex’s feelings by being too nice or neutral on the phone with her once you get her attention.
You need to use the phone call to reawaken her respect and attraction for you by demonstrating that you’ve changed (in how you speak to and respond to her).
To do this, it’s best to make her happy and laugh.
For instance, say your ex calls you and the first thing she asks is, “So, what have you been up to since we broke up? ”
Instead of giving a boring response like, “Oh, I’ve been busy with work mostly. Where do you stand? instead of saying, “Hey, I just wanted to say that I thought this was really interesting,” which will only make the conversation seem awkward and guarded, you could say something that makes her laugh and makes her think, “Wow, this is different! Now he has so much more assurance. A good laugh can be had with him. I appreciate the chance to reconnect with him. Should I maybe start seeing him again? ”
So when your ex asks, “What have you been doing since we broke up? You might say, “I can’t believe you don’t know what has happened. A lot of attention has been paid to it recently. For a long time, Selena Gomez had been following me around. I couldn’t get her to stop bothering me. To keep her at bay, I had to file for a restraining order. These last few months have been extremely challenging. Stop saying that you don’t know what’s going on in the world. and then joke about it with her.
She’ll feel like you’re picking up right where you left off when things were good between the two of you, and she’ll laugh and relax.
As an example, you could say, “Just kidding…Selena Gomez and I are cool.” The two of us are merely friends. Regardless, how are things in your world? Then, ask her about her experiences since then.
Note: If comparing yourself to Selena Gomez isn’t a good fit for your relationship, feel free to use another celebrity instead. This is just an illustration of how you should approach the discussion (be humorous, take things easy, and avoid taking yourself too seriously, for example).
Afterwards, you can say something like, “Anyway, I think it would be fun to catch up and say hi in person sometime.” This will allow you to tell her some of the truth about what you’ve been up to. So, what do you reckon? ”
If you’ve been able to make her laugh and loosen up, she’ll likely agree to catch up with you because she’ll feel good about it instead of weird.
5. Coax her into a face-to-face encounter.
It’s not uncommon for women to agree to a reunion with an old flame without giving it much thought.
Still, most women will be hesitant at first to accept the proposal for various reasons (e.g., she is afraid of getting hurt again, she has a new guy, she doesn’t believe that you’ve changed, she doesn’t want to seem too eager right away).
Keep in mind that despite her protests that, “No, I don’t want to meet up with you,” and, “That’s a bad idea. We should just let sleeping dogs lie,” you need to keep your cool and project confidence if you want to keep earning her admiration and desire.
She’ll be more receptive to meeting you once you reignite the spark in her heart.
Say something like, “Hey, it’s just two old friends getting together to say hello after a long time” if she pushes back at first. It’s just a cup of coffee and a good time; I’m not looking for a kidney donor. Let’s see if we can get together this week and say hello.
She will probably just say, “Okay” or “I suppose that would be fine.”
Then, arrange a time to meet with her when you’ll both be free.
6. Help her navigate the rest of the ex-reconciliation process.
Make sure you say and do the right things at the meeting to get her feelings back on for you (e.g. being confident, charismatic, funny, charming, emotionally masculine).
Reigniting her admiration and lust for you in person changes how she perceives you.
As she gets to know you, she relaxes, and the idea of being your girlfriend again makes her smile.
At first, she may try to ignore how she really feels about you by asking, “What are you doing?” It ended a very long time ago. When you’ve been apart for so long, it’s impossible to get back together.
But she won’t be able to deny the influx of fresh, exciting feelings she has for you.
Next, you’ll need to walk her through the rest of the ex-back procedure and prove to her that things have changed for the better.
Show her that you have changed since she dumped you.
She’ll see that she’s missing out on the greatest love of her life if she lets you go this time.
As a result, you shouldn’t be reluctant to try new things.
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