The Breakup Coach


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"Ladies, give your time to a man who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara" ~ Unknown

Fairy Tale
There once was a princess who fell in love with a vain, selfish prince. When the princess asked the prince to marry her, he said "No" and rode off on his steed into the distance. The princess was very sad for a few days. Then she went on to live happily by shopping and drinking wine with her friends, had closets full of shoes and handbags, always had a clean castle, and was never, ever farted on in bed. THE END

"The best revenge against a woman who steals your man from you is to let her keep him" ~ Unknown

"Friends don't let friends drink and dial their exes" ~ The BreakUp Coach

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits on your couch watching TV, eating your food and making a mess, you probably married it.

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, in order to appreciate a good one" ~ Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

"All discarded lovers deserve a second chance...but with somebody else" ~ Mae West

Three Wishes

A woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly she was treated by her recent ex, when she spies a magic lamp washed up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. The genie notices she's upset and invites her to share her story with him. "As a consolation for your troubles, I will grant you three wishes", says the genie. "But in the interest of fairness I will give your ex the amount of whatever you wish for twice over."

The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and a large stack of bills appears before her. The genie reminds her that her ex is now the recipient of 2 billion dollars.

The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish is for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie again reminds her that her ex now owns two beautiful beach houses.

Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. After the genie has waited some time for her answer, he reminds her that whatever she wishes for her ex will receive two-fold.

"No problem," says the woman with a look of triumph. "For my last wish... I want to give birth to twins!""


If he was dumb enough to walk away from you, be smart enough to let him go" ~ Unknown


"If your ex calls and it's not about splitting lottery earnings, just let it go to voicemail" ~ The BreakUp Coach

 For more thoughts from the BreakUp Coach, check out our free breakup advice section