I'm a psychologist and certified life coach dedicated to helping people get through painful breakups and divorces. BreakUp Coach Logo 200 101 How to Quietly Change Your Facebook Relationship Status Article Update for 2012! A good while back I wrote a how-to article on changing your relationship status on Facebook after a breakup QUIETLY so that you won't have the embarrassment of having  all of your "friends" get a little update in their newsfeed with that sad little broek heart icon.

]]> New video on BUC YouTube Channel I may be late to the party, but I love this retro take on etiquette in Facebook relationships from YourTango on YouTube.  I wish more of my clients (and their exes!) followed these rules.

]]> When The Breakup is with a Friend  

]]> Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Internet -- Erase Your Ex from Your Online Life In the spirit of my advice article on Dealing With Your Life Online during a breakup, there's a new application you can use to virtually erase any presence or reminders of your ex as you interact in the online world via Facebooking, Tweeting, internet seatches, etc. Ex-Blocker will help you forget what's-his-name a little sooner by erasing the evidence of his existence all in one easy step.

]]> Don't Answer This Call! Back in the early days, when The BreakUp Coach was just a twinkle in a brokenhearted girl's eye, and my awesome friend Ask Angie and I were coming up with cool things that the BUC could offer in the future, ringtones were definitely on the list.

]]> Happy Easter from The BreakUp Coach

Here's a card I created for the occasion. Our own cards will be launched along with the rest of the site sometime next month.

]]> DO's and DON'Ts for Helping a Friend Through a Breakup Update: There is a newer version of this article posted in the Friend Zone section of the Advice page -- read it here

]]> Out With the Old, In With the New As 2009 comes to a close and we bid it farewell, I wonder what else we can say goodbye to?

]]> Breakup and Divorce E-Cards First Round The new Breakup Coach site will feature unique e-cards that we are creating, but here are a few I designed just for fun at

]]> Breakover (Breakup Recovery) Tip #8: Get Yourself Moving and Out of Your Own Way For a while I've been dealing with a physical injury--a tear in a ligament of the foot--which had hampered my mobility and made exercising very difficult since I can't to anything involving putting weight on the foot or pointing the toes (which tends to happen when swimming). I recently discovered a solution: using a flotation belt to run while suspended in the water. It feels a little silly, but also kind of fun, and the improvement in my mood since I got back to being active is remarkable. It's a great reminder for me of the importance of exercise for well-being, which is something that I focus on a lot in working with my clients.

]]> Tweets, Texts and Tablets: How Many Ways to Leave Your Lover? Sometimes I feel nostalgic for the days when it was considered tremendously rude to break up with someone over the phone rather than in person.  Now there are so many routes to break it off that the line between acceptable and scorn-worthy always seem to be moving.

]]> How to discreetly change your relationship status on Facebook Updated June 2012 If you spend any time on Facebook you've probably seen one of those embarrassing updates on your news feed announcing that one of your friends "is now single" or "is no longer in a relationship with so-and-so", complete with that little icon of a broken heart. Ouch. Maybe this has even happened to you when you went to change your own relationship status...or your ex did. Double ouch.

]]> "Who else is gonna fill up your fridge with empty bottles?" I'm posting 2 videos in a row but this one is too good not to share, especially if you could use a laugh. Alphacat is a parody virtuoso whose video impersonation of Obama doing Beyonce's Single Ladies was a huge hit last fall.

]]> Dragging Out a Breakup Equals Ooouuuuccchhhh Ever drag out a breakup in an effort to save the person's feelings? Ever notice that it ends up making things worse? Let's watch Cougar Town's Jules try to let Josh down easy.

]]> Celebrating Your Independence With Breakup Cake There is a moment in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun in which a friend of the recently-divorced protagonist tells her that since marriages begin with cake and champagne, they ought to end in the same way.  This is clearly becoming a very popular thought as divorce parties, and now breakup parties, are becoming more and more popular.

]]> Your iPhone as Breakup Buddy: An App That Protects You From Your Drunk-Dialing Self Too often during a breakup the phone can become our enemy. It sits there, mocking us with cruel silence while we wait for it to ring with that call from the ex begging us to take him back. And it's all too willing to enable those ill-conceived calls when we're feeling desperate, drunk, or both (that dreaded double-d). I suggested one trick to help you prevent this, but it's good to have multiple weapons in your arsenal against that other dreaded double-D, drunk dialing.

]]> Professional Breakup Recovery Services I'm getting more frequent requests for this information, so to make it easier for anyone interested in hiring me as their personal breakup coach, here are the professional services I offer:

]]> Staying Safe After a Breakup When Your Ex is Abusive or Violent I'm writing a more detailed piece on this topic for, but since it's almost the end of Domestic Violence Awareness month I wanted to post some initial thoughts.  While many of us end up pining away after an elusive ex, too many others have to deal with a former partner who won't leave us alone.  This may range from annoying drunk texts in the middle of the night to real terror and violence.

]]> Don't Believe the Reverse-a-Breakup Hype A lot of people looking for help or advice about a breakup search for it online; that might be how you found me in the first place. Unfortunately a lot of the "help" offered is a marketing scheme designed to prey on the vulnerability and insecurity that we naturally tend to feel in the midst of a breakup in order to squeeze us for some of our hard-earned cash.

]]> "Everything I Need to Know I Learned From...": Using Breakup Advice to Deal with Other Life Issues I wanted to share this great post on B.oB.'s running blog which uses a breakup analogy to explain what a running injury is like. Not only is it clever but it's a good reminder of something that comes up all the time in my conversations as The Breakup Coach: "breakups" don't just happen in romantic relationships. We end up having a lot of the same feelings and problems when there's conflict or breaking off with our friends, our jobs, a favorite activity (like B.o.B's running), and lots of other life situations.

]]> What Not to Wear During a Breakup: Just Say No to Sweatpants I came across this (very) darkly funny video about sweatpants as a breakup uniform from Comedy Central's Michael and Michael Have Issues(note: this is PG-13 content and not for the easily offended)

]]> Breakover-Breakup-Recovery Tip #7: Seeing things differently Ok, so if you're getting over a breakup then hopefully you've already made some changes by following my previous breakover tips. By this point you've given your bed a makeover and you've also changed up what your nose knows. In fact, hopefully you've read all of the posts that come up when you click the "breakover" link to the right.

]]> Breakover (Breakup Recovery) Tip #6: Take Note of the Love You Have A breakup can leave you feeling lonely and unloved. Yet is all the love in your life gone because one relationship ended?

]]> Crazy-Ex-Syndrome: Step Away From the Goldfish Please! The newswires, twitterverse, and yes, the blogosphere were all abuzz late this week over a bizarre incident which occurred a few days ago in Texas (news link here). Apparently an angry ex-girlfriend (common-law wife, technically) went to her ex's home, took the seven goldfish that had once belonged to both of them in happier times, fried them, and ate them (well, at least three of them anyway--I guess anger only took her so far).

]]> Why I'm a Breakup Coach I've been asked why I chose to specialize in helping people dealing with breakups. It started by accident, or according to fate, depending on how you see it. A few years ago while working as a clinical psychologist in private practice, I found myself with a full caseload in which 15 of the 17 clients I was seeing were women who were either going through a breakup or divorce, or on the verge of a breakup of divorce. Although I hadn't been seeking them out intentionally, they had come to me through one channel or another. I seemed to have knack for helping them, which was good. I noticed that the majority of them were smart, educated and generally psychologically healthy women who found themselves in a complete emotional tailspin over a broken or unravelling relationship. For most of them it was the first time they had ever been in counseling.